And I'll move on without you No more happy moments No more frivolous Fridays Or sunny Saturdays Sunday come downs But also No more loneliness No more waiting for the phone No more walking on eggshells Awaiting the inevitable. I'm unlov-ed, unworthy, and unlovable And you refuse to move on from the trauma of your...

Fuck you very much

You said you loved me. For two years and seven months you said you wanted a future with me. Then... Then. You ripped my heart out and handed it to me. "I'm sorry I just don't see a future with you. I have depression and I want to live alone after my girls move out....

Fuck

You were my best friend The one who made my days brighter The one who pulled me from the depth of despair when I lost my dad. But you decided that even though I click all the boxes on your list, that I wasn't worth it. There is no future between us Well there sure...

late night thoughts

I am enough. I am pretty I am kind. I am good. but tonight... Why would anyone want me? I'm not pretty, i'm not good enough. He's had the perfect relationship, and I"m just me. He can do better. I miss her. My Friday. She was a wreck half the time, but she was a...

Another night

The anxiety is still super high, work didn't help. It was crazy from the moment I walked in until I walked out. I feel like I need to run away. Nothing is helping. Not even the actual anxiety meds. and I'm buzzing with it. I just want to fade away right now.

No dopamine found anywhere.

I'm so far down today I'm struggling to see the light. It's been a fucked up few weeks. Starting the Thursday before my birthday. One of my best friends died due to sepsis. Her partner was supposed to be her care giver, but he let a boil turn septic and kill her. Let's be honest...

It’s just light refracting through the clouds JESUS MAN

If I see another post on the book of faces on how "the Rainbow is a promise from God, and it should not be used to show pride for sexual identity." I'll freaking explode. Let's talk about this for a second. The God Forsaken rainbow is light refracting through the clouds. It isn't a promise....

Goodbye Friday

I met you years ago, thru a random friend of your then boyfriend. Ryan became a good friend and then you waltzed in. We all talked online for years and then entered my abusive boyfriend.. Between you and Ryan I survived. I know we had our arguments at times, but we always came back together....

grief

My best friend is getting married. I am so happy for her. I am distraught for her as well, as her grandfather died just after Christmas. But that lead to something far more personal, for me. I always thought I'd be the first of 'the grandchildren' to get married. On both sides mind you. My...

Day. Well it seems I’ve lost count

Welcome to covidland. It's where most of us have been living for the last nine fucking months. Thanksgiving? Right. I'll be lucky to be off work at all. Oh wait news just came in. I'm off Thursday! But I have to work a double Friday night. Ok. What does this mean? It means sixteen hours...