But I love you.

You are supposed to be here today. Meeting my family. Being as amazing as I thought you were. I loved you, I love you still, but you are a mere figment of my imagination. Or were you actually whom you seemed to be. A bad decision? A bad kid that entrapped you. Either way you... Continue Reading →

No Car No Date

Someday will be better. I know this. Today is not that day. I should be lying in bed beside him, my head on his chest, both of us on reddit, or asleep with his gentle snores lulling me to sleep. And I fucking miss him. I keep double, triple, quadruple guessing myself. and I know... Continue Reading →

MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS

Does he miss me, even a little?Did this week hurt as bad for him as it did for me?Would he ever have told me?Am I the largest idiot on the face of the planet?Will anyone ever actually love me?Did he love me, just not trust me to not run away? (In this defense, I did... Continue Reading →

I am you

I see you. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and your emotions are bubbling just under the surface. When it's quiet, when you are alone, you remember. The good times, the best times, those happy times where everything was perfect. The way it felt to be in the arms of your former lover. I... Continue Reading →

Christmas

Christmas has always been about families.  My Christmases are no exception, so to be the only single left in my immediate family, to be the only single at my larger family gathering, well it has always left a sour feeling in the pit of my stomach.   I have always wanted my own kids, my... Continue Reading →

A letter to ease my mind

Dear Jack Frost,   I will miss you.  I miss you already.  I miss your smile, the laughter I’d hear time and again in the first two years of our long distance relationship.  I miss the way your accent wasn’t so much different than mine, but at the same time that northern found it’s way... Continue Reading →

Heartbreak and Hand Grenades

A friend.  A friend I’d known since elementary school set us up.  He lived on one side of the country, and I in the middle.  We were only supposed to be friends.  We both knew that long distance rarely if ever worked, but we were going to be just friends. Then his cousin had her... Continue Reading →

Just Thinking

I think of her every now and again. Today was no different.  I remember the friendship we’d shared for ages, how we’d spend days together, were roommates, even closer than sisters.  Then I recall how it ended.  Callous words thought aloud, and she walked away from over ten years of friendship for her new friends,... Continue Reading →

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