Explain to me how you can have so much in common with someone, have inside jokes, Both seriously enjoy spending time together, and still not want anything to do with that person?
Explain to me WHY a man you just had sex with would ask about if you had ever thought of another man. A man that you not only have thought about, but is a mutual friend to both of you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE?
I fucking answered truthfully. Yes I’ve thought of crinkles, NO we’ve never done it.
He made a comment about a future date and how much he’d have to pay to make up for not paying over the weekend. That’s not important. At least it’s not important to me.
So needless to say, I’d not be writing if we were happy in early dating paradise, but no…
He’s not talking. He’s been super sick, but he’s not talking. I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have told the truth, I shouldn’t have bought the food, I sure shouldn’t have fucked him.
I’m an idiot.
Then, let’s compound idiocy by telling crinkles.. TELLING FUCKING CRINKLES ABOUT NEWBOY! But in broad enough terms I could walk away, but Crinkles is a fucking math teacher, and though he was slow to add up the numbers he DID get the full fucking equation.
And he looked hurt by it. He doesn’t get to look hurt, he doesn’t like me. HE DOESNT LIKE ME, no matter what we have in common, or the fact that he loves to show me new things, or that he delights when I share new things that are great. We are JUST FRIENDS And that is ok. I’m ok with friends, but it’s fucking RETARDEDLY confusing.
He doesn’t get to look like I kicked his fucking puppy. He just doesn’t.
And then NEWBOY and the lack of communication, and though he’s fucking sick as a dog, I’ve barely heard two words since Sunday, that wasn’t in a group chat.
Upnote: Met a new really sweet guy. Only problem. he’s fucking 22. I don’t want to be a cougar… >.<