I’m now down 33.2 lbs. That’s a bit of an accomplishment. I’ve went from 3x scrubs, to 1x. That’s a bigger accomplishment. From a size 26 to a size 20.
I’m still huge. That will change.
There is no question as to why I’m still single, I was so rotund that round looked up to my shape like a big brother. I looked like Mimi Bobeck from the Drew Carey Show. (i’m not sure I do not STILL look that way).
I hope that’s not the case.
Before you ask, Yes I am hung up on the way I look. This is for a number of reasons.
- Even at my thinnest, I was always the girl that was told “You are the type of woman a man marries, and I’m not looking to get married, ever.”
- Flash foward a few months (sometimes weeks) and they’d be engaged or married.
- Maddy, you are a great girl, I’m just not attracted to you.
- Flash foward to them dating a supper skinny rail of a thing, with tiny tits. Sometimes they were pretty, most times just skinny.
- Madison, I think you are drop dead gorgeous, but I’m married, and If I were unwed I’d be with you in a heart beat.
- I call bullshit on this entire statement.
- I can be every guys best friend, the one they call when their lives are going to shit, the one they want to come cry to when shit goes wrong, but I’m not ever going to be the one they go to when things go right.
So yea, I think I’m hideous. Apparently I have a third eye in the middle of my forehead, that I didn’t know existed, or my breasts though ample, have somehow sprouted a third boob, that i’ve not noticed.
MAYBE!!! Maybe, I just ate my former self. That’s probably it. Of course the last time I was thin enough to be called normal sized, I was told by a guy that outweighs my biggest size by 100 lbs, that he was not a chubby chaser. So what do I know Really?
All I know is I can’t change if people like me, I can’t change my face, but i can change what I weigh, and how I eat, and if I go to the gym or not.
I can be thinner, and I can worry about that instead of about how Crinkles doesn’t like me, how RockStar will never want to hang out with me, or how Mr. <insertnextassholehere> isn’t interested. I’ll work on me, and maybe ONE day, I’ll find someone that doesn’t treat me like horseshit.
But I seriously doubt it.