I’ll tell ya, I’m not looking for the quick hook up. I’m not looking for the short term mating… I want the connection. I don’t care if I ever have sex again right now, as long as i have someone to cuddle up with and watch television with.
I want a FWB without the benefits. I want a guy who will snuggle up with me and take a nap, read a book in silence, watch tv, do whatever, but will be there with and for me.
I could get a fuck buddy, and lord knows it’s been long enough that the thought has crossed my mind, A LOT. But that’s not what I really want.
What I really want (visions of spice girls just danced in my head.. shudder). Is the connection, the feeling of togetherness. I want someone to hold him hand and ask if we are going to be just friends, or…. I want someone to be as shy around my feelings as I am his.
In truth I want what seems so unrealistic in today’s day and time. I want to build trust, learn another, and do it the right way. Not in an email, not in fear of an asshole or a homicidal maniac.
Maybe I should take this as a sign that i’m nearing the point where I could be ready for another relationship…. Maybe I should just admit that the dreams I had last night put me in this feeling. The guy in the dreams may or may not have been real, and he may or may not have been famous.
Hell the guy in the dreams may or may not have graced these posts before, It just doesn’t matter about the guy in the posts, what matters is the feeling of contentedness I had in the dream.
He wasn’t telling me sexy, it wasn’t a sex dream at all. It was everyday monotony, with someone. With a companion, and isn’t that what we all want anyway?