The Voice of Happy?

If I’m ever the person to make you happy, when you are depressed.  I’m happy to serve.. However, if you are needing me to be your only sliver of happiness in the large dark room you’ve locked yourself into, and you want me to be the light in the dark, I’ll try, but you might just be doomed.

My idea for fixing a bad depression is to talk.  Talk about what’s eating you, let you tell me why your relation fell apart, and then I can help you build yourself back up.  If you choose to let that wound fester, and not let any air to it, then I can’t help you.

Things grow better in the light, good things that is.  Mushrooms and lotuses grow in the dark.  Those can be good things, however, in light of a breakup you generally need light jovial things.

I’ll find stupid memes to make you laugh, and I’ll beg you to talk about what ails you, but I’m not well equipped at this point to be that super happy, that super person you need.

Don’t ask me to be the voice of reason.  Take that as a truth, take it to the bank, and deposit it.  I am depressed.  I can play it off, I’ll tell you I’m fine, and then I’ll go to my room and sulk.  No I don’t want to talk about it.  (Yes I see I’m the pot calling the kettle black)  This just isn’t that kind of depressed.

My depression may be less depression and more self isolation.  As a mid-grade pessimist, and a mid-grade outgoing sort, I have to have time to myself, and I tend to not give myself that.  I feel I should be on point at all time, always on the go.  That wears me down, and after a time I need to just unwind and recoup.

For the past bit my schedule has been work, gaming, gaming, work.  That’s not changing this week, but it’s moving to work, gaming, work, gaming, birthday party for the little bit, and then a dead day.

I finally have a day to relax, clean, and breathe.

You may have noticed a small lapse in the gym aspect of my life, that’s due to last weeks fall, I’m still sore, I still have problems hurting over a week later, but it’s MUCH better.  I’ll be back in the gym before you know it, and then my weight loss will kick into high gear.

HOWEVER, I’ve lost 20 lbs since I started this new leaf in my life, and I can’t tell I lost anything… yet.  That’s not going to stop me.  I’m going to keep working at it, until I stop looking like I ate my former self.

I feel better for writing, even if it’s not funny.  Those WILL come back, eventually.  I’ll find my sense of humor, somewhere, it might be beneath a rock, or just beyond that next salad.

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