Ok Froggers, Here goes. I’ve been absent. Really, really absent. I found a job, and not much funny happens at it. I don’t have the time I once did to pen a soliloquy every other day. OH! And beyond that I’m so very lonely.
I know three people in this town. My sister, brother-in-law, and my nephew. This leaves me bored to tears most nights. I have rewatched the same series of television show three times, almost in a row. I have no friends here, I have no reprieve. It’s work, family, work, family, work, family. I have no money, because my money goes to pay the bills.
And before anyone says “hey you’re an adult damnit what do you think it’s for?” I mean ALL my money. I’m reaching that point where it doesn’t matter anyway, because I don’t want to see or talk or even be around people. I want to hide in my room until the world crashes down.
I put on this face, and I act as if everything is ok, but it’s really not. I clap and smile when the 2 year old nephew uses the potty, because I’m supposed to, and because it makes him happy, but down deep I know I don’t feel it.
I’m mentally exhausted, I’m physically atrocious, and I think I may actually hate myself all the way down into the very core of my being.
I’ve been at this job since November and I’ve made exactly no friends. I’m the lard ass surrounded by beauty and thin, and no wonder they don’t hang out with me. I wouldn’t either.
So there’s your update. I am existing in a town, wilting in the weather.