Thigh Gap…

As a heavy set woman I’ve been through the wringer in dating and relationships.   Some have made their way onto blog posts on this very blog.  I feel the need to branch out from the horrible dating stories into a more normal blog, and though I would just make a new blog, I feel that Kiss a Lot of Frogs is a great medium to branch out with.

Why? Because there are frogs of all variety.  Men, Dates, Jobs, Friends… you name it, they can all be frogs in the grand scheme of things.  So I shall do that this installment.

Bare with me, this post may be a bit spastic.

Thigh gap.  It has earned the Frog of the day!  It is now frog number 1.

Whose bright idea was it to make this the new thing?  I’m nowhere NEAR a thigh gap.  I’m quite ok with that.  I actually saw an ecard the other day that said:

I’m glad I don’t have a thigh gap, when on the toilet yesterday I nearly dropped my phone, but I caught it with thunder and lightning.

I think this is a great ecard for a number of reasons.  The first being, I like my phone, and I need all the help in the world to keep it working for as long as possible.  Also, if you have a thigh gap I would wager you don’t have the strength to slam your legs anywhere near together enough to keep the phone from falling through.

I know most people would spout “Don’t take your phone in the bathroom!”  But we all know that everyone does it.  Just the amount of bathroom selfies alone proves this point, but how many people DON’T play that next level in candy crush while on the john?

Do we not check our facebook in the bathroom far away from the prying eyes of coworkers or bosses?  And that text you’ve waited for FULL MINUTES to reply to, because you were afraid you’d blush.  Yea that gets done in the can too.

Unless you work nights, then you can do all those things, without the prying eyes of bosses and such.  But I digress.  The point is, with a thigh gap your phone would be swimming in a bowl of disgusting germs and human waste.  It’s time to get a new one.

And today normal phones are obsolete.  We all carry smart phones, and those babies even for the cheapest run over a hundred dollars.  So this means we either bite the bullet and buy that crappy one and carry it until we can run with the newest Samsung/Apple product, or we somehow convince ourselves that it isn’t too disgusting (and if it still works) we can still use it.

Just don’t have a thigh gap.  It’s that easy.  Save your phone.  Eat the cake.  Have muscles.  Don’t let society tell you that to be attractive you have to be a size 00.  Because real beauty isn’t determined by the size of your body, the color of your skin, or the height you stand.  Beauty means who you are more than what you are.

So screw this thigh gap, I’m sure in the future these same women are going to wish they’d spent more time at the gym and less time starving to achieve it.  That will happen about the time their bladders are going out on them, and their bodies are growing old.

There’s nothing sexy about anorexia, and to me that’s what Thigh gap screams.  So be kind to your body, eat a steak, do some squats, and gain a few muscles.  If the man isn’t into you because you are healthy, then you need a better man.

Stupid thigh gap.

I still don’t know how this is a thing.

 

 

Madison

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7 thoughts on “Thigh Gap…

Add yours

  1. Like you said, when did this become a thing?! I think someone in hollywood or the fashion industry has too much time on their hands to come up with these new crazes…

    Excellent blog in response to it though.

  2. I enjoyed your column, and thank you for saying this:

    Don’t let society tell you that to be attractive you have to be a size 00. Because real beauty isn’t determined by the size of your body, the color of your skin, or the height you stand. Beauty means who you are more than what you are.

    Now if you happen to write about bat wings . . . I’m thin and discovered them one day. Oy!

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