I did it, I’d left him. The asshole that’d ran my life for two plus years. It was August, and it was hot. My legs and arms stuck to the interior of my car, and the thermometer on the dash read 124 degrees. I had been working on cleaning out my life. I’d started with the baggage, and after he was gone, I’d started with the apartment.
We’d only lived there a year, but it seemed a never ending process of cleaning would be in order to clean up the actual mess he’d left behind. It was therapeutic, it took a month, and I’ll write more on that later. During the cleaning phase I dusted off the dating profiles, and that lead me through numerous friend recommendations to OKC.
As far as I can tell, that site was a mistake. I’ve spoken to a handful of men, received hundreds of messages, and most don’t make it through the first communication.
But this was early on. And I hadn’t fully had time to process the situation I’d been, so my standards were well below normal. SO the first message I received, I pounced on it. This guy was remarkably ordinary. He claimed to be a nerd, but didn’t play any role playing games, had never seen an episode of any sci-fi show, and he’d never well let’s just say that my idea of a geek or a nerd were not the same as his. He did play video games, LOTS of video games.
We had decidedly little In common, but since I was lonely I continued to speak with him. He seemed nice enough, just not at all what I was wanting for in a mate, but when he offered me a coffee at the local Starbucks I thought, sure, why not.
A lot of my stories have a ‘sure, why not’ in them, perhaps I’m sensing a pattern.
I was cleaning the apartment, when I noticed the time. I’d not done a deep clean on the bathroom yet so I jumped in, changed clothes, and headed out. I made it to the coffee shop fifteen minutes early, my car laden down with as many of my belongings in it as I could tetris in. I grew to be quite adept at it by the end of the move.
I sauntered up to the counter and placed my order for something frozen and caramel and loaded with caffeine, I’d likely be up late trying to unpack back home, and I found a seat by the door, so I could bolt if necessary.
I waited for fifteen minutes when my cell phone chimed.
VG: Running late at work, be there in 10.
Great. I’d have to sit there alone and come up with something to do. I decided to peruse the web on my phone. Ok so I likely watched funny cat videos on YouTube, but whatever I did, passed the time. I was so engrossed in whatever I was doing, he’d walked in and already ordered by the time I saw him.
I’ve used the word portly before, but rotund would be a better word for RV. He had pretty blue eyes, and a beard. That’s all I could say about him, very ordinary. He walked over to me and we talked about nothing for an hour. It was all very bleak and dreary.
We finally found some common ground on movies, and that lead to the unfortunate ask for a second date.
VG: Wanna go out tomorrow? We can go see—wait no, no Tomorrow isn’t good for me. What about Friday?
Me: I work Friday, sorry. (and lets be honest I’d work every day he asked if possible. But we finally decided on Tuesday. And for me Tuesday means never.)
I was watching the time tick by on the clock overhead, and he had no clue. I started to rewind into the past remembering the good times, though they were few with the ‘baggage.’ I needed to get out of there quick, I’d start blubbering or something, and I didn’t want that.
Me: Hey I’m gonna have to get going, it’s a long drive home, and I’m not sure I have enough gas to make it there.
VG: Well, ok. Hey you wanna come over and watch the new Fast and Furious movie?
Me: I really can’t.
I stood up and like a true gentleman he walked me out. Just to be nice I kept the conversation up.
Me: Which vehicle is yours?
VG: That’s kind of embarrassing actually, it’s that one.
I followed his hand to the white long bed van, with blacked out windows. I think I blinked quickly about a hundred and two times.
VG: It was my grandmother’s, she had this thing about vans, I dunno. So about that movie.
Now it was imperative that I go home, I said my goodbyes as quickly and as definitively as I could. Even though an offer of breakfast was ‘charming.’ (Please read that statement with the drops of sarcasm it deserves.)
I got into my car, and drove an extra fifteen miles around the city, before heading out home to the country. Just to be safe. I still made it home in record time, and didn’t sleep for a long, long time feeling that I’d slipped by a very dangerous situation.
Now, in all honesty, he was probably a nice guy, but whenever he’d text to ask me out I’d be busy, and finally he gave up. I could chastise myself for being so shallow as to let his unfortunate ride deter me from a possibly nice guy, but I will take the fact that I’m able to write this blog, as unfunny as this one is. Well, I guess they can’t all be funny.