So I joined a free dating site, and decided that I would be proactive in the search for Mr. Right. I had gotten tired of finding Mister Wrong, and Mister I’m already married. So off I go into the wild blue interwebs. I worked diligently at filling out my required information, though I felt quite strange in doing so.
About yourself: This seemed an easy question, until I started to answer it. What makes me me? Why do my friends like me? What do I like to do?
I was younger then, and I felt that there was no way a man would want to date a geeky gamer girl from the middle of nowhere. Nor would they want to know that I was a bit of a writer. So I left those items off. What I ended up with was some part of me that I thought would warrant attraction.
I described myself as a friendly, outgoing person, that enjoyed Karaoke, and reading. That I was as apt to spend a Friday at home, as I was to go out, and that I enjoyed all sorts of cinema.
Carefully I picked photos that showed that I was not in fact skinny, but might not show how I saw myself at that time. (And at that time I was not nearly as good with my weight as I am now, I felt I looked like King Kong, only slightly less hairy.)
And I waited… and I waited… and I waited. Months went by with no contact. Then I realized something. I lived in the middle of NOWHERE, on the corner of WhatWereYouThinking. So I went back in, I updated my photos to current ones, and the waiting began anew. This time however it was a much shorter wait.
The first message came two days before Christmas. He wrote a short but poignant request to chat. I went to his page, and saw that he had one photo but that he had a well put together profile. He enjoyed many of the same things I did, and so Voila! I replied back to his message and thus an email relationship was born.
I personally thought, “cool, I can make a friend.” I have no idea what he thought, but I have a pretty good idea.
The next message I received wasn’t from TMK. It came the day after Christmas from FL. FL had a short page, but his message piqued my interest. Fl stated that he had just moved to the area from a few states over and didn’t know many people other than his family, and would I like to hang out sometime. I thought sure why not.
>Screech< I’d like to point out that no I should not have been so eager. I have since learned to take it a little slower. Also, I did go with a group of friends,so…
So then the surprise happened. TMK wrote back. He too asked me to meet up and hang out, so I accepted. I sat the date up with TMK for bowling. And with FL for Saturday. I was living the life. I had a date for both Friday and Sunday.
Friday’s date was nice, we met at the bowling alley, then he informed me he didn’t really have the money to bowl at that time, so could we just go walk around the lake. This is a nice park around it with lots of people and it’s still early, so I agreed. We slowly ambled along and he regaled me with stories of his Bipolar Disease, and his three children. (Holy Crap! He has bipolar? Red flag…REDflag!) ((I feel I need to point out that this is only a red flag not deal breaker))
I made some noncomittal comment about his children to which he replies. “3, but they live with their mom, and I gave them up years ago. I never get to see them anymore. They moved somewhere north like North Dakota. I couldn’t afford the child support.” (Did I say Red Flag?) I thanked him for the date pretty soon after that.
Now I was hoping against hope, and praying to the Gods above that the next guy would at least be somewhat normal. He did not disappoint. He was attractive and friendly, and had a great sense of humor. Hell he even was artistic (he could draw). This fat girl had hit it rich! We went bowling (finally I got to play a game) with a friend and my sister. It was actually pretty fun. We said goodnight, and I drove him back to his sisters… (Now days that would be a black flag of Death for a date)
I continued to talk to both for a week or so, before ultimately deciding to focus on FL. Which was it’s own mistake. We dated for a few months, and suddenly FL disappears for two weeks without so much as a call. I moveon with my life, better for it. And as soon as I make headway he’s back, begging me to understand that he didn’t really leave he was just unable to call me. And as I hadn’t been born the night before, I told him to take a flying leap.
He was married the Saturday following to the same reason he couldn’t call me while he was away.
After it was over, perhaps TMK would have been a better choice out of the two of them, He at least had a job, and unlike FL wasn’t burdened with the glorious purpose of using and abusing women. FL was too busy living high on the hog, getting money for nothing, or relatively nothing, he did help his father care for the horses, and using me to get free food, free rides, and free ‘rides’.
I told myself I was through with onlinedating, but if that had been the case I’d have nothing to blog about.
Next Blog will be The time that “The Guy was a Meth Dealer”